Tonight I was on our back porch in 35 degree weather shaking out a load of Essie's clothes that had just gotten washed and it hit me...it's the end of an era.
I was shaking out the load of laundry because when I googled "What do you do when you wash a pull up with a load of laundry and it explodes?" that's what the blogs told me to do before washing the load again. Fourteen years of motherhood, fourteen years of diapers and pull ups and I had never had this happen to me before so I had to ask my virtual community.
The irony of the situation is that 3 nights ago was the last night Esther will ever wear pull ups. We had determined that when we returned from our Thanksgiving vacation (sleeping in other people's beds) she would be done with them. She rarely ever had a wet pull up anymore - in fact the one in the laundry probably still had the "you didn't wet me" emblem on the front before I put it in the washer.
We spent our Thanksgiving vacation with lots and lots of family. It was a wonderful time. Throughout the weekend as I watched my cousin chase after her extremely active 15 mth. old and my very pregnant cousin's wife waddle around (who actually just gave birth today - congrats!) and my other cousin who had a week old baby still recovering from birth, I realized that I am really ok. Four is just enough. This is really the first time I've felt that (and don't ask me next week because my hormones may change my mind again).
It's the end of an era for the Voss family. No more babies, no more little toddlers. No more pull ups - especially in the washer!
That crazy Voss family
12/3/13
7/17/13
Facebook friends
It hit me today. My list of friends on facebook has changed! I don't mean that I friended or defriended people. I don't mean that profile pics or people's names are changing. You probably wouldn't even see the difference if I showed you the list from yesterday and today. But it changed for me today. I realized that yesterday it was a list of friends I have collected from having lived in all four corners of the United States. In fact, I'm kinda proud of the fact that almost every state and several foreign countries are represented in my list of friends.
Some of them are family, so it's "goodbye until next time"
Some of them are childhood friends, so it's "goodbye unless we happen to run into each other"
Some of them are college friends, so it's "goodbye until you let me know you're coming to visit your family and we'll have a coffee date"
Some of them are friends who have passed on, so it's "goodbye until we meet again in eternity."
Some of them are my friends here in Lincoln...
Today, my list has changed. It is a list of people I have to say goodbye to...
7/9/13
Raw emotions
This is the face of a truly surprised auntie :) I love that Dara was able to capture the moment I walked around the corner and saw my precious nieces for the first time.
This is the face of a speechless Joni! I was overcome with SO much emotion when I realized I was in the same room as my precious nieces that all I could do was sink to my knees. My brother had to come over to help me get up.
6/21/13
Some Holy Moments
March 15th I flew across the country knowing that I would meet my African-born nieces for the first time. I was hoping the scheduled flight on the 17th would be on time. My expectation was that I would be able to have a glimpse of them on the day they got home at the airport and possibly briefly see them from afar the next day before heading back home. God had other plans.
March 16th I woke up and prepared to head to my brother's house. The plan was for our family (my mom, dad, sister and her family, second brother and his wife) to spend time with my first brother's biological children that day. I headed over with my sister-in-law. I walked in the house and saw Caleb and Sam. They didn't recognize me and seemed a bit overwhelmed. My dad unexpectedly hurried me around the corner to the living room. I stepped in and my heart stopped. HOLY MOMENT: there were Jeff and Kara AND THE GIRLS! My brain couldn't compute for a moment. I wasn't looking at another picture on the computer, they were here, early, sitting on the floor in their own home. The sounds that came out of my mouth have been described to me as a "wail" as I melted to the ground overwhelmed with emotion. My brother got up and came over, Isabel in hand, to give me a hug. I touched her - she was real! And she was beautiful! It took a few minutes for me to collect myself to be able to focus on Livy and Kara. I don't remember a more wonderful surprise ever! It was so much fun to watch my brother and sister and family come in and experience the same surprise. I had expected to meet them as one face in a crowd and not be able to be that close to them for a while. Instead, I met them one-on-one and stayed within feet of them for a couple of hours before our family left to allow for naptime. Bell even gave me several huge smiles.
March 17th My sister-in-law Krista and I took a walk. Normally when I visit home, I really only get to talk with Krista at my parents house or her house surrounded by other family members. HOLY MOMENT: This time it was a one-on-one conversation with her when I really got to connect with her.
We got home, showered, headed for lunch with the family before we headed over to Jeff and Kara's for the afternoon and dinner.
We spent time hanging out watching Bell and Livy play and getting as close as they would let us. They are both scared of the family dog and at one point Bell had walked down the hallway not realizing she was heading towards the dog. When she saw the dog, she panicked, fell and started to cry. HOLY MOMENT: I walked towards her and she reached for me! My heart leapt. I picked her up and headed back to her dad. She reached for him almost immediately, but I had gotten to hold her! I had never expected to be able to do that.
After dinner, we put all the kiddos to bed and sat down to play some cards. After the card game, we started a serious conversation about dad's job and mom's retirement.
HOLY MOMENT: My brother suggested we pray for mom and dad. Our family sat around the table, holding hands and praying for each other like we hadn't done in years. There have been some rifts and conflict within our family recently and it was so wonderful to unite in prayer and allow the Holy Spirit to do some healing in our hearts.
March 18th We headed once again to Jeff and Kara's house and this time I took my bags. The rest of the family was heading back to Redding and I was going to stay with Jeff and Kara one more night. We sat around watching Bell and Livy for a few more minutes before heading out the door. Sam was not feeling well and Kara wanted to snuggle with her so Jeff and I hung out with the girls. There came a time when both girls needed to be held.
HOLY MOMENT: Jeff had Bell and I offered to pick up Livy. She came to me willingly! I helped him feed them lunch and then Jeff put the girls to bed and headed out for an errand.
HOLY MOMENT: I got to hang out with Sam watching a movie together snuggling until she fell asleep. Later Jeff took Caleb to swim lessons. Kara and I were hanging out with the three girls and Kara was not feeling well.
HOLY MOMENT: She and Sam snuggled on the couch while I fed the girls dinner. At one point I got to hold BOTH girls at the same time. I played with them and loved on them.
HOLY MOMENT: After Jeff came home he turned on a song that was special to their family "the adoption song" by Andrew Peterson. Not only did the words touch my heart, but the picture of my brother dancing with his adopted daughter while he sang those words brought tears to my eyes.
I know these girls are too young to remember me, but these are precious, treasured memories for me. I praise God that he allowed me to be a part of such a special time.
March 16th I woke up and prepared to head to my brother's house. The plan was for our family (my mom, dad, sister and her family, second brother and his wife) to spend time with my first brother's biological children that day. I headed over with my sister-in-law. I walked in the house and saw Caleb and Sam. They didn't recognize me and seemed a bit overwhelmed. My dad unexpectedly hurried me around the corner to the living room. I stepped in and my heart stopped. HOLY MOMENT: there were Jeff and Kara AND THE GIRLS! My brain couldn't compute for a moment. I wasn't looking at another picture on the computer, they were here, early, sitting on the floor in their own home. The sounds that came out of my mouth have been described to me as a "wail" as I melted to the ground overwhelmed with emotion. My brother got up and came over, Isabel in hand, to give me a hug. I touched her - she was real! And she was beautiful! It took a few minutes for me to collect myself to be able to focus on Livy and Kara. I don't remember a more wonderful surprise ever! It was so much fun to watch my brother and sister and family come in and experience the same surprise. I had expected to meet them as one face in a crowd and not be able to be that close to them for a while. Instead, I met them one-on-one and stayed within feet of them for a couple of hours before our family left to allow for naptime. Bell even gave me several huge smiles.
March 17th My sister-in-law Krista and I took a walk. Normally when I visit home, I really only get to talk with Krista at my parents house or her house surrounded by other family members. HOLY MOMENT: This time it was a one-on-one conversation with her when I really got to connect with her.
We got home, showered, headed for lunch with the family before we headed over to Jeff and Kara's for the afternoon and dinner.
We spent time hanging out watching Bell and Livy play and getting as close as they would let us. They are both scared of the family dog and at one point Bell had walked down the hallway not realizing she was heading towards the dog. When she saw the dog, she panicked, fell and started to cry. HOLY MOMENT: I walked towards her and she reached for me! My heart leapt. I picked her up and headed back to her dad. She reached for him almost immediately, but I had gotten to hold her! I had never expected to be able to do that.
After dinner, we put all the kiddos to bed and sat down to play some cards. After the card game, we started a serious conversation about dad's job and mom's retirement.
HOLY MOMENT: My brother suggested we pray for mom and dad. Our family sat around the table, holding hands and praying for each other like we hadn't done in years. There have been some rifts and conflict within our family recently and it was so wonderful to unite in prayer and allow the Holy Spirit to do some healing in our hearts.
March 18th We headed once again to Jeff and Kara's house and this time I took my bags. The rest of the family was heading back to Redding and I was going to stay with Jeff and Kara one more night. We sat around watching Bell and Livy for a few more minutes before heading out the door. Sam was not feeling well and Kara wanted to snuggle with her so Jeff and I hung out with the girls. There came a time when both girls needed to be held.
HOLY MOMENT: Jeff had Bell and I offered to pick up Livy. She came to me willingly! I helped him feed them lunch and then Jeff put the girls to bed and headed out for an errand.
HOLY MOMENT: I got to hang out with Sam watching a movie together snuggling until she fell asleep. Later Jeff took Caleb to swim lessons. Kara and I were hanging out with the three girls and Kara was not feeling well.
HOLY MOMENT: She and Sam snuggled on the couch while I fed the girls dinner. At one point I got to hold BOTH girls at the same time. I played with them and loved on them.
HOLY MOMENT: After Jeff came home he turned on a song that was special to their family "the adoption song" by Andrew Peterson. Not only did the words touch my heart, but the picture of my brother dancing with his adopted daughter while he sang those words brought tears to my eyes.
I know these girls are too young to remember me, but these are precious, treasured memories for me. I praise God that he allowed me to be a part of such a special time.
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