A Lazy Sunday afternoon

What a lazy Sunday afternoon...laying on the couch next to my honey after a long afternoon nap, football on TV, my 2 yr. old laying on me giving me kisses...

Two days ago, we got Rob's last paycheck.  

Two days ago, Rob sent in another half dozen applications.  

How can I be this relaxed, this at peace? 

Ten years ago, God told us to move to Nebraska for Rob to go back to school.  

Ten years ago, Rob received his rejection letter from the admissions office at UNL.  

Ten years ago, God told us he would take care of us.  

And He has, every step of the way.

That's how I am this peaceful.  Today I will enjoy God's gift of time with my husband.  I know He is at work on our behalf.  He will not let us go hungry, He will not let our family go without shelter, He will not.  That's not my God.

"Let the holy roar of God resound

watch the waters part before us now

Come and see what He has done for us

Tell the world of His great love

Our God is a God who saves."

It Wasn't Me!

Have you ever had an experience when you're in the middle of doing something and God takes over completely and does His work through you?  I had the privilege of experiencing that today.

After taking a hiatus to have my fourth child, I am excited to back to singing with the worship team at church.   This morning we were practicing before service in a shorter time frame than normal and we were stumbling.  We had trouble getting the mike and monitor settings comfortable for everyone and we were anxious about being able to hear our parts and how they fit with everyone else.  We walked back to the church office to prep for the service with anxious hearts.  

In the office, Bret (our worship pastor) shared that each time "The Revelation Song" is part of the morning service (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsiDukXIeVY) there is evidence of spiritual warfare.  The devil doesn't like us singing the words that Paul heard the angels in heaven singing (wonder if he wrote it when he was up there).  So we prayed specifically that God would use that song.

Back on stage, the first four songs went ok - not great, the sound levels on stage still weren't great, but we did our best.  That didn't matter.  We got to THE song - I sang lead (melody).  As soon as I opened my mouth, I knew something was different.  It is SO hard to describe.  Normally when I sing, because of my training, I am conscious of every breath I take, of every vowel and consonant I sing, I am focused and intentional.  While to the outside world it may have appeared that I was singing like I normally do, inside I realized I wasn't doing any of that.  In fact, I began to feel that I couldn't stop singing if I wanted to.  The Holy Spirit overcame me.  He took over and sang through me this morning.  My friend Amy, who was singing next to me, felt it too.  

There are times in my 35 years of being a Christ follower I have had my doubts.  I am so grateful that God continues to show Himself to me over and over again.  I hope and pray that my church family recognized His hand this morning.  If they appreciated that song and "my voice,"  I hope they realize that they were appreciating the sound of the Holy Spirit singing through me - it wasn't me!

It's so weird

I have lived in Lincoln Nebraska for longer than I have ever lived anywhere in my entire life.  Born in WI, moved to VA when I was 2, moved back to WI when I was 8, moved to FL when I was 11, went to college in CA when I was 17, moved to another town in CA when I was 25, moved to NE when I was 27.

It is so weird to be in a place this long.  When you can't go anywhere in town without recognizing someone from somewhere (especially when you've lived 3 different places in town).  Like the other night when I went to Ethan's baseball game at a field I never knew existed in Lincoln and saw several familiar faces - some I could name, some I couldn't.  Or Target. Or the library.  

It is so weird to know where practically everything is in town or at least be able to picture where something is next to or around when someone else is describing it.  Or talk about years ago when something happened in town.  Like know why there are bicycles all over Lincoln.  Or see the town of Hallam recover from the tornado.  Or remember when 84th St. and Pine Lake were the edges of town.  Or when Southwest High School opened and go to their musical celebration of 10 years.

God is so funny.  I thought this was to be our temporary home.  Just a brief stop for Rob to go to school before we moved on to his next career.  And here we are.  Our kids have all grown up in this town - Ethan turned 3 yrs. old 3 days after we arrived here.  We have put down roots and developed some incredible friendships here - people who take the place of our family since we have none in town.

So, Rob is almost done.  He is working hard on the final pages of his dissertation.  He will officially graduate in August or December of this year.  This is it.  Then the career can begin and we can move on.

But now I don't want to.  I love Lincoln, Nebraska.  I love that we have weathered the recession much better than any other place in the country it seems.  I love that I know the town like the back of my hand and rarely need Google maps to get anywhere.  I love that I know what to expect and I know that this is a rare spring and last winter was a rare winter because I've lived here long enough to know that.  I love that we have lived all over Lincoln and have friends all over the city. 

It's so weird how I fought putting down roots knowing that someday we would probably be moving on.  I couldn't help myself and I would have hindered my kids if I hadn't.  It will hurt so much to pull them up.  I've done it so many times before, I know that feeling.  

I know what it feels like as a kid to leave a place with best friends.  To cry together as your family's spend the night together one more time making nachos in their basement (Ervins) and crying the whole time.  I know what it feels like to move in the middle of an important milestone.  For your family to allow you to finish that milestone (6th grade) while they move on ahead of you.  To finish knowing that as you sing "Friends are Friends forever" you wonder if your friends will remember you as you move so far away and out of touch.  I know what it feels like to say goodbye to a place not knowing if you will return or not (FL) and saying goodbye for now to people knowing it could be goodbye forever.  I know what it's like to be excited for the career that your husband has finally started on while moving away from the safety and comfort of family and friends (Redding).  I know what it's like to move all the way across the country not knowing what lies ahead of you but trusting that the God you love is leading you.

It's so weird that I am struggling with these feelings right now.  There are no prospects for moving.  Rob has not finished.  In fact, we both have plans for the fall for part-time jobs and for my schooling.  But I know that could all change and I want my heart to be prepared for the feelings I know will come.  

It's so weird because while I long for Rob's future career to begin, I just want to stay put.  I'm so dysfunctional!  It's so weird.

A dream about my nieces.

I woke up this morning and just HAD to call my sister-in-law.  I had a dream about the girls last night...

             ... We were at a family gathering and I was meeting my nieces from Congo for the first time.  When I                 reached out to the younger one for a hug, she shyly snuggled up and gladly received it.  The older one was a bit more reserved and a little protective of her younger sibling.  She began to speak to me, but not in English.  When she realized I couldn't understand her, she said "oh, you're American.  Who are you?"  I explained that her daddy was my brother.  I pointed to my mom and said "your grandma is my mom."  Her walls went down and I got a tentative hug.  Then I had to walk out of the room because the feelings were overwhelming me. I knew that the $14,000 needed to keep them had not been fully raised yet and I wanted to keep them.  Then I woke up...

When I shared this dream with my sister-in-law, she told me that a friend of hers had been specifically praying that God would bless her with a dream of these girls.  Maybe she didn't get one of her own, but she got mine!

A few more details I have been made aware of
...Oliviay is the younger sister, Isabel the older
... a couple of weeks ago they weighed 10 and 11 lbs. respectively
...$4,000 has been raised!
...a check for $14,000 has to be in the mail on April 23rd.

I realize not everyone understands why these girls, why Congo, Africa, why now, but what I know is that this is walk of faith is what God has called my brother and sister-in-law to right now.  I am excited and privileged to be a part of rescuing these girls and loving on them for the rest of their lives.

Please, please, please consider helping bring these babies to a safe home, away from the dangers of war and poverty.  Please, please, please pray that God will move in a mighty way and provide.

I know this is bold of me, but checks can be sent to:

The Brown family

2305 Eola Dr. NW 
Salem, OR 97304

A Better Life

I'd like to introduce you to my new twin nieces:  Isabel and Oliviay.  I have seen a picture and at this point, you'll have to just take my word for it - they are ADORABLE!  We have been told they celebrated their first birthday last month just before their uncle and grandfather brought them to the orphanage in Congo, Africa.  Their mother died and their family desired a better life opportunity for them.

It saddens me to think what would bring the girls's family to this point of desperation.  Then it dawned on me - in Congo these girls face a future that probably includes malnourishment, a high risk of catching the same disease that took their mother from them, perhaps AIDS or malaria, and extreme poverty that could lead to desperate measures.  For them to have survived this far, with the high rate of infant mortality in Congo, is a miracle.

My brother, Jeff, and his wife, Kara, long to provide them with fresh drinking water, 3 meals a day, a roof over their heads, medical care, and the opportunity to go to school - things that we as Americans take for granted.  These girls will not end up as beggars on the street or prostitutes.  Their destiny has changed - they are being rescued! 

To bring them home, my brother and sister-in-law need $14,000 plus travel expenses by April 30th.   That seems like a huge amount to me, but it's not to God.  Please pray with us that God will provide so that my nieces can come home.  If He has moved you, please, please consider helping.  Any amount is helpful towards that goal.  Message me and I will send you their address.

To read more about their story thus far, you can find it at:  http://lovethatcameforus.wordpress.com/.

Chapter 4 - DONE!

Just a quick update for those of you keeping track and praying for us.  Chapter 4 was sent to the printer last night!  We tried not to do a happy dance, knowing one more chapter remains, but it's really hard and I'm having to bite my lip not to scream with joy.  Chapter 5 is 10 pages in with at least 30 to go.  The goal is to finish it this week - a lofty goal, but he has 2 long, uninterrupted writing days and several 3-4 hour chunks to work on it.  One of his classes that he teaches begins Monday, so we want the first draft done by Monday.


Just one other quick thing.  I was sort of complaining yesterday how I feel like this semester has started off so slowly compared to the pace I have come to expect from working and going to school.  Then it hit me - HELLO - he's giving us time back.  I do not have a project/assignment due in school until Feb. 1st.  That when our "redeem the time" campaign is over!  My major class this semester only meets once this week because of a holiday and "audition day" for the UNL School of Music - that's God's way of carving out time for Rob to be writing. 

It has also blessed me tremendously these last couple of weeks to feel like I can act like a mom and make dinner AND clean it up every night, help with homework, sit and play with my toddlers, do the whole family's laundry, keep the house not just straightened, but clean like I haven't for a long time.  I know the stress will come, but for now, I am basking in the time God has given Rob to write and for me to enjoy being a mom.

Thanks for praying - keep it up!