What do you do without a camera

Two weeks ago our camera broke.  Whether it was because we let our kids take pictures with it or because I never put it back in the protective case or because of the numerous times it was dropped on the ground, we'll never know.  The lens would catch as you turn it on.  Then I tried to fix it and ended up pulling it apart accidentally.  So, it's dead.  This was the first straw.

Then we got our electricity bill.  Having a summer like Florida without the beaches made our bill triple what we normally owe!  That made me sit down and do math.  Not only did we not have enough for a camera replacement, but we may do without a food budget in September!  Our normal modus operandi is to check our budget about 3-4 times a year, otherwise I tend to obsess, worry, and make our lives miserable.  And so after doing the math, that's exactly what happened.  All the "if only's" ran through my head over and over:  if only SCC had needed me during summer quarter, if only I had done more Pampered Chef parties, if only I hadn't used the money the boys helped me raise to redecorate their room....  And then the "I can"s began:  I can sell x,y, and z on craigslist, I can return the decorations from the boy's room, I can make a bunch of stuff and sell it on etsy.com.... 

So I went for a walk to calm myself down, yelling out to the Lord.  And then I heard it, that still small voice whispering "I've got it under control, just watch."  I sat back to watch.  Waiting, wondering how he was gonna do it this time AGAIN.

Rob called me this morning with an obvious smile in his voice.  "I got my paycheck today."  BIG PREGNANT PAUSE.  "And?"  I expectantly answered.  "It's twice what I've gotten the past 2 months."  WHAT?  I have no idea why or how or who.  Actually, I do know.